Good Wednesday Morning to Everyone. Wednesdays are the day where I always feel exhausted. We have a cold front coming in today so I am watching out the open windows. The grey clouds are floating in and sticking together. The wind is still out of the South but we are promised that it will turn around and be blustery from the North. I love cold rainy days. I am the director of a new children's bible study and have leader's meeting on Mondays and class on Tuesdays. Yesterday, I led most of the day for the 2 and 3 year old children. They are adorable and funny. We had a great day. It really is amazing to see God's Holy Word take root in these very young children. I am always exhausted on Wednesdays though. The other leaders say that they feel the same way. I always enjoy the peace and quiet on Wednesdays to refocus on the next lesson and take inventory of my chores for the remainder of the week.
I am continuing my series of the Snapshots from the Journey Back. It is the chronicle of the miracle of emotional healing that God brought about in me after a lifetime of damage being acquired by my own sin and the sin of others. God brought me through with the use His Word, a Christian Counselor, a Church family and amazing resources to read and study. The first leg of the journey began with the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
I was the adult survivor of mental, emotional, physical abuse, spousal emotional and physical abuse and was the survivor of growing up in the home of an alcoholic. I had survived some major life traumas. My family dynamic was marred with generational abuse, conditional love, triangulation, mental manipulation and addiction. I have discovered though that the people that I was raised by and married to did love me the best that they knew how, they were damaged themselves and thus the generational damage resulted. I was created by God to be "soft=hearted and weak" as my family deemed me. I was even termed "spineless" by my father. The combination of all of these things stirred around and muddled together caused me to emerge as a person who desperately needed approval, acceptance and love and would do ANYTHING to get it. I could not ask for help. I felt extreme hurt when I asked for help and did not receive it. I was terrified to ask for my needs to be met. I had a very dysfunctional character trait where I would do and do for people to get them to approve of me to the point of making them dependent on me so that I could feel approved and accepted. I was over committed, over worked, empty and hopeless.
My fruit of these things was a life void of any appropriate boundaries. My Christian Counselor noticed this immediately because of the fact that I was afraid to do anything for myself, afraid to recognize that I had needs and had been pleasing people so long that I didn't even know how to choose a favorite color. He recommended the book Boundaries. I recall being shocked when I read about what a boundary was and how God's Word calls us to "Love our neighbor as ourselves". I also recall that I could see a slim chance that something important and miraculous could be hidden in the concept of boundaries. The book explained the verse in a way that was foreign to me. I was very good at loving my neighbor in dysfunctional ways because I did not have an ounce of love for myself. In fact I only had self-loathing for myself. Having a need was weak in my eyes. Saying no to someone was wrong in my eyes. I had to start with this verse which God includes in His Holy Word 9 times. God commands us:
Leviticus 19:18
Never get revenge. Never hold a grudge against any of your people. Instead, love your neighbor as you love yourself. I am the Lord.
Jesus confirms it in these verses:
Matthew 19:19
Honor your father and mother. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Matthew 22:39
The second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’
Mark 12:31
The second most important commandment is this: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”
Mark 12:33
To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding, with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as you love yourself is more important than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices.”
Luke 10:27
He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind.’ And ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ ”
The same is confirmed in these verses:
Romans 13:9
The commandments, “Never commit adultery; never murder; never steal;
never have wrong desires,” and every other commandment are summed up in
this statement: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Galatians 5:14
All of Moses’ Teachings are summarized in a single statement, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
James 2:8
You are doing right if you obey this law from the highest authority: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
If you study these verses and think about yourself and about your family and friends you will see that people that have been damaged can be convicted by these verses in different ways and usually tend to gravitate towards each other in relationship. There are people that are very good at loving themselves but not their neighbors and are termed controllers, abusers, selfish, self-absorbed and many others terms. There are also people that are very good at loving their neighbors but not themselves and they are termed abuse victims, compliants, selfless, weak, scattered, flaky and lots of other terms. I believe that God sent a miracle to me by revealing through His Holy Spirit that I must keep both sides of this commandment. The Ten Commandments can be summed up into these 2 commandments. God revealed to me how out of balance my life was. I was very much in love with God and still am. It is easy for me to love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. It has been easy for me to love my family and friends. It is still difficult to love myself. I have developed and love myself more today and accept and approve of myself more today than ever in my life. I am still a work in progress though.
If anyone that is reading this feels any kind of identification with what I am describing, I highly recommend the book "Boundaries" or any of the "Boundary" resources. I also recommend "New Life Live" that is on the radio and on cable TV. My Church in Bakersfield offered small groups that explored Boundaries and emotional healing, I recommend those too. I will provide more about this part of the journey in my next post in the series but for now we should all reflect on these verses and see if there is any work that might be done to be obedient to these two commandments.
Have a glorious Wednesday. I can feel the temperature dropping and I am so excited about the rain that is promised. I want to wear a sweatshirt!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Snapshots of the Journey Back
Good Morning Everyone!
Today is the day for me to continue the Hell and Back series but now the name has changed to Snapshots of the Journey Back because once I went to Robert's office and my ex-husband gone, the Hell was behind me and God had my feet planted firmly on the path. I was finally moving in the direction of having the wonderful life that I am living now. I was very damaged though and a thorough emotional mess. It is bizarre to ask God to take my recollections back now to who I was then. I have changed so much, glory be to God. I am new wine now and cannot be put into the old wine skin.
Matthew 9:17
Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”
Matthew 9:16-18
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| Old Wine Skin |
In this blog post I am going to explore the humorous. I had not been allowed to do so very many things for the 12 years that I had lived in my ex-husband's house. I was seeing Robert and he was encouraging me to find myself. It had been so long since that I had forgotten who "myself" was. I decided to embark on an adventure of trying things to see what appealed to me.
I remember being so very nervous to call the telephone company to put in a telephone line and an internet line (remember the old dial-up connections?). I was so nervous that I called Robert and asked for an appointment. I went into his office and before I sat down, I said "Robert, I think I have done a very bad thing." His eyes got big and he asked what I had done. I said "I ordered a home phone and internet." He simply said, "Tracy, most people have home phones." I am cracking up laughing now as I type this for several reasons. One is what must he have been thinking the "really bad thing" I had done was before I said so and Two, how sweet he was not to laugh at me for being so backwards. I really was terrified that I was going to get in trouble for having a phone. It felt incredible to have a phone and internet. It is really a miracle that God has brought me so far from who I was then that I can laugh at it now. Praise God for Robert's good heart and kind spirit.
Along with the telephone in that first few months, I had 3 ways to brew coffee, 13 rugs in a 900 sq ft hut, cable television and a gas grill. I was a WILD WOMAN! ha ha. I felt very naughty having any of these things. They were contraband. I took golf lessons, I bought a camping RV and learned to tow it and set it up, I played tennis, I went snow skiing, I bought my horse, I sailed the Mediterranean and the Aegean to the Greek Isles and the Amalfi Coast, I went out to dinner after dark, I visited friends, I made new friends, I became a children's leader at an evening bible study (that occurred after the sun went down). I am sure there are more things that I did but these are what comes to mind today. These adventures were so far outside my comfort zone. I am giddy to think how free and amazing my life is today. Peaceful, serene, free, exciting, loving.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Blessed Life in a Small Community
Great Wednesday to everyone! I hope that you are having a wonderful day. Today is our first day of really cool temperatures. I am enjoying the sunshine and brisk air.
My post today is about life in a small community. Monday, I was driving through our tiny town called Tishomingo.
As I drove through town, I noticed lots of teenagers writing on the windows of all of the shops along main street in town. I assumed that it was homecoming or something and smiled a little. Tuesday, I was in town again and read a couple of the windows. To my amazement, the writing was not for a sporting event but was to honor a young girl who lost her battle with cancer over the weekend. Her name was Stevy. I did not ever meet her but have heard so much about her. Many of the messages said that she will always remain the hero of the high schoolers who wrote the messages. I thought about and prayed for her parents that have to be grieving and emotionally and physically drained. I thought how I felt the week after Mom passed away. I had been her only care-giver and I was not really thinking clearly that week. I was only focused on getting through each hour. I thought how they must feel driving through town and seeing that in her young life, she had deeply impacted the youth of this small town in a very positive way. I love that earlier in the year, the town sponsored a 5K, 10K run in support of Stevy and her family to raise money for them. I read in the paper that there was a huge turnout. I had so much community support as Mom was dying and I am sure Stevy's family has been comforted by the support of their community. I love living in a small town where every member of the community matters to all the other members.
I did not have a sense of community when I moved to Oklahoma from California. The common thing to do in California is to pull into your driveway/garage and go in your house. Leisure time is usually spent in the backyard surrounded by the 8ft privacy fences. I did not interact with my neigbors much even when my neighbors were my dear brother and sister's families. I am glad that God brought me to a place where I can be a part of a supportive, kind loving community. Thank you LORD.
The things that mattered to me when I came here were nearby shopping and restaurants. The abundance of great food items to purchase and prepare. I do not miss those things. I do drive 1 hour to bible study, 96 miles round trip twice weekly. I do drive 30 minutes to the nearest Walmart. I drive 1 hour for shopping other than Walmart. It does not matter to me. I love being part of this community and love life in a small town. The things that matter now are much better for me.
My post today is about life in a small community. Monday, I was driving through our tiny town called Tishomingo.
As I drove through town, I noticed lots of teenagers writing on the windows of all of the shops along main street in town. I assumed that it was homecoming or something and smiled a little. Tuesday, I was in town again and read a couple of the windows. To my amazement, the writing was not for a sporting event but was to honor a young girl who lost her battle with cancer over the weekend. Her name was Stevy. I did not ever meet her but have heard so much about her. Many of the messages said that she will always remain the hero of the high schoolers who wrote the messages. I thought about and prayed for her parents that have to be grieving and emotionally and physically drained. I thought how I felt the week after Mom passed away. I had been her only care-giver and I was not really thinking clearly that week. I was only focused on getting through each hour. I thought how they must feel driving through town and seeing that in her young life, she had deeply impacted the youth of this small town in a very positive way. I love that earlier in the year, the town sponsored a 5K, 10K run in support of Stevy and her family to raise money for them. I read in the paper that there was a huge turnout. I had so much community support as Mom was dying and I am sure Stevy's family has been comforted by the support of their community. I love living in a small town where every member of the community matters to all the other members.
I did not have a sense of community when I moved to Oklahoma from California. The common thing to do in California is to pull into your driveway/garage and go in your house. Leisure time is usually spent in the backyard surrounded by the 8ft privacy fences. I did not interact with my neigbors much even when my neighbors were my dear brother and sister's families. I am glad that God brought me to a place where I can be a part of a supportive, kind loving community. Thank you LORD.
The things that mattered to me when I came here were nearby shopping and restaurants. The abundance of great food items to purchase and prepare. I do not miss those things. I do drive 1 hour to bible study, 96 miles round trip twice weekly. I do drive 30 minutes to the nearest Walmart. I drive 1 hour for shopping other than Walmart. It does not matter to me. I love being part of this community and love life in a small town. The things that matter now are much better for me.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Treasures, Adventures and Memories
Good Morning Everyone!
It is a beautiful crisp morning. A glorious Saturday for sure. I think because of the extended drought that our trees are not yet turning color. I think they were so stressed through the drought that their biological clocks are off. They can't tell the days are shorter because they are busy drinking up all the moisture that's in the soil for their parched trunks. I have been seeing beautiful photos on blogs of lovely fall color. We will get ours soon enough. Nonetheless, it is gorgeous and cool this morning. I am enjoying the green pastures.
I have been inspired to finally go through my Mom and Dad's home to clean and organize. I find that I have let enough time go by where the pain has turned into fond memories. My parents were not technically hoarders but they loved to collect things. LOTS AND LOTS OF THINGS. They also liked projects, LOTS AND LOTS OF PROJECTS. I am not a collector and clutter challenges my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to its outer limits. I have been dreading settling into Mom's house because of the need to sort through and organize before I can bring my things in. It is a God thing though that I waited because I am truly having a great time.
My Mom, step-mom actually, and I did not like each other or become friends until after my Dad died in 2003. She said that she accepted the LORD 2 weeks before Dad died and that caused her heart to change. I had been through 3 years of counseling and healing at the point my Dad died and so God had worked out the details in such a way that we were both lonely, recovering, healing women and I was blessed to become her friend. She was my best friend and I do miss her and her eccentricities very much.
They moved to Oklahoma in 1990. I did not have much contact with them for those 13 years. I had my own problems (see Hell and Back blogs). As I venture through cupboards, closets and drawers, I find that it is a bit like a treasure hunt because they collected so many things that I find a new amazing thing everyday. I find that it is comforting to pick up an object and ponder about what it is, why she saved it and what was the conversation between she and Dad when they bought it. They lived life like an adventure too and so I do not know what phase of collecting they were in when they found lots of this stuff.
Yesterday was the completion of the hall linen closet and a large cupboard in the kitchen and all of her hope chests and quilt keepers. In the closet I found an abundance of table cloths, cloth napkins, doilies and some baby clothes from when we were children. I remember big family dinners served on those table cloths. There were 8 in our family and there were always extra people in attendance at Sunday dinner. We would have boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, grandchildren, friends and since we were all characters there were always stories and laughter......at least most of the time. There is a gorgeous table cloth with the napkins that my brother Allan bought my Mom in Belgium with hand made battenbourg <so> lace. I am going to send that in Allan's box so that he can use it with his family.
I did not know until I moved here that my Mom had taken up crocheting doilies. My real Momma also crocheted doilies and so I have the doilies of both women and do not know who did which. It will be comforting to press them and have them on the tables as a tribute to both of them. There were embroidered pillow cases and needlepoint samplers. I am not an embroidered pillow case or eyelet kind of girl but I will find something interesting to do with them.
I found oodles of fabric and batting that I am going to give to my Mother-in-law today because she has recently taken up quilting and I know that she will appreciate it and I will see some of it someday in the quilts that she makes.
I found lots and lots of yarn, knitting and crochet needles that I will donate to my dear friend Mary's prayer shawl ministry. She has a wonderful ministry where she and a group of ladies get together and pray over each stitch of these shawls and give to women who need prayer, support and encouragement. My Mom tried to teach me to knit or crochet all of my life and I never could do it so she would be happy that it will go to support, love and encourage someone.
In the kitchen, I found this contraption that I could not identify. I called the experts, my sister, my father-in-law-to-be and neither of them knew what it was. I was about to ask my neighbor Johnny last night. I got it out and was looking at it and realized that at some point my Mom was making her own cheese and it is a cheese press. I have been day-dreaming about exploring how to make my own cheese now and so this contraption stays here. MMMMMM....comforting, melting, pungent cheese.
Today I am tackling the paintings in the closet and another large cupboard in the kitchen. We can play a game with the stuff that I cannot identify and y'all can help me figure things out! I have already put a beautiful fall table cloth on the table with her Halloween/Fall decorations on the table with lovely soy candles that I found. Have a wonderful day today everyone. Can you guess what these are?
It is a beautiful crisp morning. A glorious Saturday for sure. I think because of the extended drought that our trees are not yet turning color. I think they were so stressed through the drought that their biological clocks are off. They can't tell the days are shorter because they are busy drinking up all the moisture that's in the soil for their parched trunks. I have been seeing beautiful photos on blogs of lovely fall color. We will get ours soon enough. Nonetheless, it is gorgeous and cool this morning. I am enjoying the green pastures.
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| My chickens hunting bugs |
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| This pasture has been brown so long that I marvel at it |
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| I'm sure the farmer of this field hates these yellow flowers which are weeds but I like it |
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| I still have lots of figs and am excited to make something |
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| I ate these this morning :) |
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| Add caption |
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| Little baby okra's finally |
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| Crepe Myrtles still in bloom |
I have been inspired to finally go through my Mom and Dad's home to clean and organize. I find that I have let enough time go by where the pain has turned into fond memories. My parents were not technically hoarders but they loved to collect things. LOTS AND LOTS OF THINGS. They also liked projects, LOTS AND LOTS OF PROJECTS. I am not a collector and clutter challenges my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to its outer limits. I have been dreading settling into Mom's house because of the need to sort through and organize before I can bring my things in. It is a God thing though that I waited because I am truly having a great time.
My Mom, step-mom actually, and I did not like each other or become friends until after my Dad died in 2003. She said that she accepted the LORD 2 weeks before Dad died and that caused her heart to change. I had been through 3 years of counseling and healing at the point my Dad died and so God had worked out the details in such a way that we were both lonely, recovering, healing women and I was blessed to become her friend. She was my best friend and I do miss her and her eccentricities very much.
They moved to Oklahoma in 1990. I did not have much contact with them for those 13 years. I had my own problems (see Hell and Back blogs). As I venture through cupboards, closets and drawers, I find that it is a bit like a treasure hunt because they collected so many things that I find a new amazing thing everyday. I find that it is comforting to pick up an object and ponder about what it is, why she saved it and what was the conversation between she and Dad when they bought it. They lived life like an adventure too and so I do not know what phase of collecting they were in when they found lots of this stuff.
Yesterday was the completion of the hall linen closet and a large cupboard in the kitchen and all of her hope chests and quilt keepers. In the closet I found an abundance of table cloths, cloth napkins, doilies and some baby clothes from when we were children. I remember big family dinners served on those table cloths. There were 8 in our family and there were always extra people in attendance at Sunday dinner. We would have boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, grandchildren, friends and since we were all characters there were always stories and laughter......at least most of the time. There is a gorgeous table cloth with the napkins that my brother Allan bought my Mom in Belgium with hand made battenbourg <so> lace. I am going to send that in Allan's box so that he can use it with his family.
I did not know until I moved here that my Mom had taken up crocheting doilies. My real Momma also crocheted doilies and so I have the doilies of both women and do not know who did which. It will be comforting to press them and have them on the tables as a tribute to both of them. There were embroidered pillow cases and needlepoint samplers. I am not an embroidered pillow case or eyelet kind of girl but I will find something interesting to do with them.
I found oodles of fabric and batting that I am going to give to my Mother-in-law today because she has recently taken up quilting and I know that she will appreciate it and I will see some of it someday in the quilts that she makes.
I found lots and lots of yarn, knitting and crochet needles that I will donate to my dear friend Mary's prayer shawl ministry. She has a wonderful ministry where she and a group of ladies get together and pray over each stitch of these shawls and give to women who need prayer, support and encouragement. My Mom tried to teach me to knit or crochet all of my life and I never could do it so she would be happy that it will go to support, love and encourage someone.
In the kitchen, I found this contraption that I could not identify. I called the experts, my sister, my father-in-law-to-be and neither of them knew what it was. I was about to ask my neighbor Johnny last night. I got it out and was looking at it and realized that at some point my Mom was making her own cheese and it is a cheese press. I have been day-dreaming about exploring how to make my own cheese now and so this contraption stays here. MMMMMM....comforting, melting, pungent cheese.
Today I am tackling the paintings in the closet and another large cupboard in the kitchen. We can play a game with the stuff that I cannot identify and y'all can help me figure things out! I have already put a beautiful fall table cloth on the table with her Halloween/Fall decorations on the table with lovely soy candles that I found. Have a wonderful day today everyone. Can you guess what these are?
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Birth of Nesting and Treasures Found
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| Left to right - Dill, Rosemary, Parsley, Tarragon, Spearmint, Lemon Balm, Basil and Chives |
I am so excited today, I can hardly contain myself. I posted in a previous blog that my nesting instinct is still broken. I had a wonderful talk with my dear sister, Kim, (http://fieldofmydreams.blogspot.com) and she wisely said that my nesting instinct is not broken, it is on hold because I am living in my Mom's home with all of her stuff and not my stuff. She also said that since Will and I are engaged and we are building a new home that my nesting instincts will kick in when I am working on my new home. An epiphany for me for certain. She gave me lots of amazing advice during that one conversation. It's wonderful to have an OLDER wise, godly sister. I am sometimes ashamed that I am 49 years old and am so far behind women my age in terms of their "womanhood", housekeeping and decorating. I really do get overwhelmed by the thought of playing catch-up at my age. I will play catch-up though and I have received great help from two sources this week. The first being my sister and the second being a blog I found this week called Christian HomeKeeper Network.
On her blog, Sylvia has some blogs called Fast and Furious Fall Cleaning. They break your house down room by room, day by day and help you know how to do a thorough cleaning and organizing. I have discovered that it has seemed so overwhelming to clean and organize my Mom's stuff because I had no clue about where to get started. Breaking it down to room by room, closet by closet, drawer by drawer is easy for me to wrap my brain around and so I am starting with the closets that are not in rooms first. Start small Tracy, start small.
Well my goodness me, God let me discover a treasure that Mom had not ever shown me or even spoken about in the hall linen closet. I never use the hall linen closet because it is where she stored her unused fabric and suitcases. I NEVER sew and so it was a painful reminder that I am sewing and craft challenged to look in that closet so I never looked. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, I started taking fabric out of the closet and stacking in according to colors, it was neat to see all the variety and envision a table cloth or something made out of them (I can sew napkins or tablecloths haha). I cleared enough out that I could see into the closet to my total and complete glee I found this collection of herb bottles. It has sparked my utter creativity in thinking about the kitchen for our home. God can use the simplest things to inspire us to move forward. Thank you Kim and thank you Sylvia. They are all herbs that I enjoy growing. They are also all herbs that I love to cook with although, I have not ever heard of or used Lemon Balm, any suggestions? Each bottle has the name and a picture of the herb on the front and on the back it gives the uses of each herb. I intend to make herb infused olive oils and/or vinegars.
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| Spearmint, which I have growing in abundance |
Monday, October 10, 2011
DeeDee's Day
This evening I sat on my front porch. The brilliant full moon was rising in the east. The setting sun cast a glow over my brilliant verdant green pastures. My hens were contentedly pecking in the grass. The birds were singing. Little baby Grace was across the street playing and her peels of laughter floated across. My two small dogs were outside with me excitedly exploring the scents left during the day. I decided to let my old border collie DeeDee out of the backyard to join us.
DeeDee belonged to my Mom and Dad. No one knows how old she truly is. My sister, Kim took a guess at 16. She is an ageless dog. Her facial expressions and body language speak for her.....loudly. Tonight her ears were forward, her eyes were smiling and she did that adorable bouncy thing with her front legs. She loves to roam about the yard and by the barns with me. Today she got so excited, when I invited her to come out to roam with Boston, Nellie and I, that she was no help at all with penning up the chickens. She is usually my ace at circling the chickens and moving them to their pen at night but tonight there were too many fun things for her to do so work was out of the question. I did not mind though because she has earned the right to run and romp and explore.
My Mom said she came to the farm as a stray. Mom said that she and Dad were working in the garden and something started rustling in the corn. Mom said she was afraid it was a snake and so she had the hoe poised to chop when out of the corn came a filthy crippled border collie puppy. They named her DeeDee (D.D.) which stands for dirty dog. She was starving and injured so they took her into the house and bathed and fed her and she has not ever left. I keep her in the fenced backyard because I could not bear to have her be hit by a car. I told her tonight that I am going to let her have the best year of her long life this year. For DeeDee that means being let out of the backyard every time I am outside doing chores or walking. When I moved here, I had a perfect little Westie named Tinker. Tinker was only 2 when I moved here and she was a might mischievous, ALL terrier. Sweet DeeDee would let her chew on the side of her face for a little bit but then she would raise up on her front paws so that Tinker could not reach her face. She never snapped at Tinker. Tinker eventually grew out of the terrible 2's. Tinker was a bit of a brute to all dogs except DeeDee. DeeDee is special in dog worlds because Tinker would try with all of her might to kiss DeeDee on the face. My newly adopted Nellie also kisses DeeDee on the face. I think DeeDee has a sweet maternal soul that all animals love. Even Whitey the chicken prefers to live with her. Today is October 10th the first day of the best year of DeeDee's life. All old faithful dogs deserve to be honored in a blog, don't you think?
DeeDee belonged to my Mom and Dad. No one knows how old she truly is. My sister, Kim took a guess at 16. She is an ageless dog. Her facial expressions and body language speak for her.....loudly. Tonight her ears were forward, her eyes were smiling and she did that adorable bouncy thing with her front legs. She loves to roam about the yard and by the barns with me. Today she got so excited, when I invited her to come out to roam with Boston, Nellie and I, that she was no help at all with penning up the chickens. She is usually my ace at circling the chickens and moving them to their pen at night but tonight there were too many fun things for her to do so work was out of the question. I did not mind though because she has earned the right to run and romp and explore.
My Mom said she came to the farm as a stray. Mom said that she and Dad were working in the garden and something started rustling in the corn. Mom said she was afraid it was a snake and so she had the hoe poised to chop when out of the corn came a filthy crippled border collie puppy. They named her DeeDee (D.D.) which stands for dirty dog. She was starving and injured so they took her into the house and bathed and fed her and she has not ever left. I keep her in the fenced backyard because I could not bear to have her be hit by a car. I told her tonight that I am going to let her have the best year of her long life this year. For DeeDee that means being let out of the backyard every time I am outside doing chores or walking. When I moved here, I had a perfect little Westie named Tinker. Tinker was only 2 when I moved here and she was a might mischievous, ALL terrier. Sweet DeeDee would let her chew on the side of her face for a little bit but then she would raise up on her front paws so that Tinker could not reach her face. She never snapped at Tinker. Tinker eventually grew out of the terrible 2's. Tinker was a bit of a brute to all dogs except DeeDee. DeeDee is special in dog worlds because Tinker would try with all of her might to kiss DeeDee on the face. My newly adopted Nellie also kisses DeeDee on the face. I think DeeDee has a sweet maternal soul that all animals love. Even Whitey the chicken prefers to live with her. Today is October 10th the first day of the best year of DeeDee's life. All old faithful dogs deserve to be honored in a blog, don't you think?
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Wheatless Healthy Berry Yummy Muffins
It is a glorious Fall Saturday. Rain might be coming our way, beautiful sunshine with nice breezes. Daulton is watching Oklahoma Sooners (OU) take Texas Longhorns (UT) to the woodshed, much to his dismay and my glee. I am a bad winner, while I was baking in the kitchen he was taking a large degree of smack-talk from me about Texans. Will and Daulton are both Texans. Will is on my side though.
Will has not been feeling well. He always feels great so I am a little worried about him. He has been doing his homework to figure out how to feel better. He is a genius at healthy living so I know he will figure it out. He said today that he hasn't taken an antibiotic in over 10 years. I think that is remarkable. He drinks his lime drink to raise his body pH and get some sodium because he has been getting too much potassium in his orange juice and bananas. I think he also has a sinus infection.
His not feeling well prompted me to invent some healthy muffins that would be wheat free and that would give him some really good nutrients. They are yummy so I am going to post the recipe for you today.
Wheatless Healthy Yummy Berry Muffins
Level of difficulty - Easy
Time to prep - 10 minutes
Time to cook - 16 minutes
DRY INGREDIENTS
3 Cups Oat Bran Cereal (find it in the hot cereal section)
1 Cup Golden Milled Flaxseed
1/2 Cup brown sugar
4 tsp baking powder
4 tsp cinnamon
WET INGREDIENTS
2 Cups vanilly soy milk or Skim Milk
4 Eggs slightly beaten
1/4 Cup Black Strap Molasses
1/4 Cup honey
2 tsp vanilla
2 TBL vegetable oil
ADDITIONAL INGREDIENTS
1 Cup chopped pecans
2 Cups fresh or frozen Berries. I used a triple berry blend but you can use blueberries or blackberries.
Preheat oven to 425. Line muffin tins with paper liners or spray them with nonstick spray. Mix at medium speed the wet ingredients. In a separate bowl combine all the dry ingredients. Add the dry ingredients slowly to the mixed wet ingredients, mix to combine. Fold in the pecans and berries. Fill the muffin tins 3/4 of the way and bake 15-17 minutes until knife inserted comes out clean. Cool on a rack and enjoy!
I analyzed the recipe. Each muffin has 266 calories BUT they are VERY high in Omega 3's and have twice as many Omega 3's as Omega 6's. They are a good source of RDA of calcium (11%),
iron (9%), copper (9%), vitamin E (12%), magnesium (15%), All the B vitamins, is a perfect protein with all the essential amino acids present in the right proportions and a glycemic load of 13 even though it has sugar, honey and molasses in it. The zinger is that one muffin as 13% of your daily fiber.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
To Hell and Back installment 4
I have been feeling like I need to make another installment to the hell and back series. I can feel God nudging me because it is never off my mind so read on if you are interested in how God worked out the process of healing terrible damage in me.
First, have you ever heard someone say "I cannot change because this is the way my family was and this is the way I am"? I used to be a person that said that. I really felt like my inability to have intimate, vulnerable, truthful relationships were the fault of all the people that I had been with in my life. At 38, after a failed marriage, it was easy to say that my "people picker" was broken and that I needed to get comfortable with being alone because alone was safer than trying to have yet another failed relationship. I had honestly lost myself, had stuffed emotions for so long, that I really was completely convinced that completely alone was the safest thing for me.
In the meantime, physically, I was plagued with constant headaches, depression, an eating disorder, skin allergies, back problems, obsessive-compulsive behaviors and insomnia. I have since learned that all of these symptoms were symptoms of my soul crying out for love and relationship with God and others but the journey to learn that was a LONG winding, painful road.
I can say that digging deep inside our emotions and trying to determine the cause to heal the effect is not for the faint of heart. You need a strong relationship with God because it is God who needs to give you the direction, timing, courage, strength, faith, perseverance and hope. If you are reading this and want to heal emotionally and become the person inside that you have always thought you could be but have not accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior and do not read God's Holy Bible you will really have a difficult and might I say impossible chance of permanent healing and change. I can share my experiences, but it will be God and the Holy Spirit that enlighten you, challenge you and reveal your most broken parts, not me. You CAN change, you CAN be a whole, healthy, happy, loving person. If I can, anyone can. My life is the testimony that brokenness, damage, scars, abuse and addictions can be healed permanently with God's guidance.
I want to share with you the history that led to my quest for healing my damaged parts. THE HISTORY: My ex-husband and I had separated as I told you before. We were and are business partners and I was the accountant for our companies. During our marriage, I kept hoping that I would someday do the right thing that would cause him to love me. I really did think that it was in my power to bring him to love. I did not know that there are some people in the world that will not love you no matter what you do. I had done so many things to kill my soul, my needs, my desires, my instincts to try to please him that there was not anything left of me except the accountant and the person that could be very charming when I needed approval of others. I really had lost who I was but even I did not know it. I loved him as much as I understood love and I kept hoping for his love. I rationalized his terrible behavior and gave in to his bizarre desires for so long that even he said it had become a game to him to continue taking things away from me to see when I would finally break emotionally. He did not realize that I was broken emotionally when I married him. I only looked strong and capable on the outside because I had learned to appear that way my whole life. Thanks be to God that God had a plan for my life and caused the events to work together to get me out of that environment.
At the time we separated, I was living in a house where he did not allow me to use the heat in the winter time. We slept on down feather-bed mattresses on the living room floor all winter because that was the warmest room in the house. I was not allowed to eat the food in the refrigerator although I bought all of the food. I was not ever allowed to eat a meal with him at the table. He would call me each night 20 minutes before he was to be home and would tell me what he required for dinner and it HAD to be on the table in the right quantity when he walked in the door. He drank milk every night and it was to be poured into the glass and put in the freezer for exactly 17 minutes. My belongings and supplies were only allowed in one bedroom of the house. I had to keep a basket with my shower, make-up etc., to carry back and forth because my things could not be left in the bathroom. I was not allowed to brew coffee, buy rugs, hang pictures, paint, plant grass, flowers or trees. I was not allowed to have a home phone. I was not allowed to have even a cell phone or farm radio for the first 7 years. I was timed when I went to and from town. He called me about every 20 minutes to keep track of where I was during the last 5 years. During the last five years, I was required to carry 2 cell phones, a pager and a farm radio with me at all times so that he could always reach me. I was not allowed to play music in the house. I was not allowed to be anywhere after dark except my office. I was expected to work and pay all of the expenses for our household. His money was his money and he had provided the house and so I was expected to pay everything else.
As I write this, the change in me has been so profound that I cannot believe that I lived like this even though I know that I did. People always say that women who are abused should just get out. Abuse does not happen overnight, it grows and festers and you lose yourself so completely and you are so isolated that you lose sight of who you were and what "right or normal" are.
We were rarely intimate and when we were, he mentally and verbally fantasized about the girls who worked for me while reminding me of how ugly and fat I was. I was always ugly, stupid and fat. His favorite phrase was "when you are in that office, you are the most brilliant accountant there is, but when you turn that key in the lock to come home, you lose all intelligence and you are the most stupid person void of common sense. I doubt you can find your way home half the time". He also reminded me constantly of how I was void of self-discipline because of how fat I was. Mind you, I weighed 50 pounds less than I do now. I worked all of the time. My office was my safe place. I was usually in the office 6-7 days per week and during income tax season worked 12-17 hours per day but had no self-discipline.
My nesting instinct is still completely broken. I am still working on trying to regain some part of that. My home and my critters are my passion and love now. I am blessed that Will accepts and loves every part of me. Will sees good things in me and believes that I am a wonderful woman. I am still not a perfect housekeeper, I have no trace of myself in my home, all of my mother's things are still here exactly the way they were when she died. I am overwhelmed still by needing to establish what I want in a home but I am getting there. You are meeting me while I am still a work in progress.
The biggest shame and sorrow that I have is that I never had children. I never wanted to be anything but a wife and mother. I would beg him each year for a baby. He always had some kind of goal that had to be accomplished before he would let me get pregnant. An example of one that took 3 years was "have you bought a white four-door Mercedes and paid for it because you are so stupid you have to put my babies in the safest car possible." We danced that dance where he kept moving the goal-post for 12 years and finally at a banquet I overheard him say that he was not ever going to let me get pregnant because he could get me to move heaven and earth for a baby but if I had a baby I would only want to stay home. The depths of betrayal, shame, sorrow and utter despair that I felt are indescribable. I never did have children but God has redeemed the years the locust have eaten because I have been called to be the director of a children's bible study and as I said in previous posts God's Word says that I will have more children as a barren woman than a woman with a husband. Praise God.
Now, I want to share with you the pivotal moment that was the beginning of my quest to heal and change and "fix my people-picker". After the separation, I would only meet my ex-husband in public places to conduct business. He became very frustrated and told me that I needed to ask a pastor at my Church to let us meet in their office to conduct business. I called the Church and explained the problem and the lady on the phone said that they had a Christian Counselor on staff that was also a pastor and gave me his phone number to schedule an appointment. My ex-husband and I went into Robert's office for the first time and Robert asked the question, "Why are you here?" I remained silent and allowed my ex-husband to talk. He talked and talked for 45 minutes about what a bitter disappointment I had always been and all kinds of bad things. At the 45 minute mark, I remember Robert exclaiming "why can't you just love her?" and he said that love had never been a part of the deal and never would be. He said he had married me because I was a hard worker and was smart and was going to be able to get him where he wanted to be financially and professionally. I was really sure that Robert was going to tell me that God hates divorce and that I had to go back to him no matter what.
The pivotal moment of my life was when Robert turned to me and said to me, "Why do you hate yourself?". A gigantic lump arose in my throat so that it was difficult to answer but I said, "Dude, you have not ever met me before and I have not said a word in this whole deal, there's no way you can make the call that I hate myself!". He answered, "I don't have to know you to know that you hate yourself. There's no way you could live with this man for that many years unless you hate yourself. You know the reason why you hate yourself but you are not going to say it." I nodded that he was right and by now the lump had grown so that I could not speak. He asked me what my favorite color is and I responded with a question of what the criteria for a favorite color is. He said that I had been pleasing people for so long that I had lost myself. He said that I was such a chameleon that I did not even know who I was, what I liked, .....he said "YOU REALLY NEED HELP! Where are you living? Are you living in a safe place? I said I was and he said I needed to be in his office the next day. I was and that's where the miraculous healing began that I will start to tell you about in the next installment. It really does get miraculously better so stay with me.
First, have you ever heard someone say "I cannot change because this is the way my family was and this is the way I am"? I used to be a person that said that. I really felt like my inability to have intimate, vulnerable, truthful relationships were the fault of all the people that I had been with in my life. At 38, after a failed marriage, it was easy to say that my "people picker" was broken and that I needed to get comfortable with being alone because alone was safer than trying to have yet another failed relationship. I had honestly lost myself, had stuffed emotions for so long, that I really was completely convinced that completely alone was the safest thing for me.
In the meantime, physically, I was plagued with constant headaches, depression, an eating disorder, skin allergies, back problems, obsessive-compulsive behaviors and insomnia. I have since learned that all of these symptoms were symptoms of my soul crying out for love and relationship with God and others but the journey to learn that was a LONG winding, painful road.
I can say that digging deep inside our emotions and trying to determine the cause to heal the effect is not for the faint of heart. You need a strong relationship with God because it is God who needs to give you the direction, timing, courage, strength, faith, perseverance and hope. If you are reading this and want to heal emotionally and become the person inside that you have always thought you could be but have not accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior and do not read God's Holy Bible you will really have a difficult and might I say impossible chance of permanent healing and change. I can share my experiences, but it will be God and the Holy Spirit that enlighten you, challenge you and reveal your most broken parts, not me. You CAN change, you CAN be a whole, healthy, happy, loving person. If I can, anyone can. My life is the testimony that brokenness, damage, scars, abuse and addictions can be healed permanently with God's guidance.
Romans 5
Peace and Hope
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.I want to share with you the history that led to my quest for healing my damaged parts. THE HISTORY: My ex-husband and I had separated as I told you before. We were and are business partners and I was the accountant for our companies. During our marriage, I kept hoping that I would someday do the right thing that would cause him to love me. I really did think that it was in my power to bring him to love. I did not know that there are some people in the world that will not love you no matter what you do. I had done so many things to kill my soul, my needs, my desires, my instincts to try to please him that there was not anything left of me except the accountant and the person that could be very charming when I needed approval of others. I really had lost who I was but even I did not know it. I loved him as much as I understood love and I kept hoping for his love. I rationalized his terrible behavior and gave in to his bizarre desires for so long that even he said it had become a game to him to continue taking things away from me to see when I would finally break emotionally. He did not realize that I was broken emotionally when I married him. I only looked strong and capable on the outside because I had learned to appear that way my whole life. Thanks be to God that God had a plan for my life and caused the events to work together to get me out of that environment.
At the time we separated, I was living in a house where he did not allow me to use the heat in the winter time. We slept on down feather-bed mattresses on the living room floor all winter because that was the warmest room in the house. I was not allowed to eat the food in the refrigerator although I bought all of the food. I was not ever allowed to eat a meal with him at the table. He would call me each night 20 minutes before he was to be home and would tell me what he required for dinner and it HAD to be on the table in the right quantity when he walked in the door. He drank milk every night and it was to be poured into the glass and put in the freezer for exactly 17 minutes. My belongings and supplies were only allowed in one bedroom of the house. I had to keep a basket with my shower, make-up etc., to carry back and forth because my things could not be left in the bathroom. I was not allowed to brew coffee, buy rugs, hang pictures, paint, plant grass, flowers or trees. I was not allowed to have a home phone. I was not allowed to have even a cell phone or farm radio for the first 7 years. I was timed when I went to and from town. He called me about every 20 minutes to keep track of where I was during the last 5 years. During the last five years, I was required to carry 2 cell phones, a pager and a farm radio with me at all times so that he could always reach me. I was not allowed to play music in the house. I was not allowed to be anywhere after dark except my office. I was expected to work and pay all of the expenses for our household. His money was his money and he had provided the house and so I was expected to pay everything else.
As I write this, the change in me has been so profound that I cannot believe that I lived like this even though I know that I did. People always say that women who are abused should just get out. Abuse does not happen overnight, it grows and festers and you lose yourself so completely and you are so isolated that you lose sight of who you were and what "right or normal" are.
We were rarely intimate and when we were, he mentally and verbally fantasized about the girls who worked for me while reminding me of how ugly and fat I was. I was always ugly, stupid and fat. His favorite phrase was "when you are in that office, you are the most brilliant accountant there is, but when you turn that key in the lock to come home, you lose all intelligence and you are the most stupid person void of common sense. I doubt you can find your way home half the time". He also reminded me constantly of how I was void of self-discipline because of how fat I was. Mind you, I weighed 50 pounds less than I do now. I worked all of the time. My office was my safe place. I was usually in the office 6-7 days per week and during income tax season worked 12-17 hours per day but had no self-discipline.
My nesting instinct is still completely broken. I am still working on trying to regain some part of that. My home and my critters are my passion and love now. I am blessed that Will accepts and loves every part of me. Will sees good things in me and believes that I am a wonderful woman. I am still not a perfect housekeeper, I have no trace of myself in my home, all of my mother's things are still here exactly the way they were when she died. I am overwhelmed still by needing to establish what I want in a home but I am getting there. You are meeting me while I am still a work in progress.
The biggest shame and sorrow that I have is that I never had children. I never wanted to be anything but a wife and mother. I would beg him each year for a baby. He always had some kind of goal that had to be accomplished before he would let me get pregnant. An example of one that took 3 years was "have you bought a white four-door Mercedes and paid for it because you are so stupid you have to put my babies in the safest car possible." We danced that dance where he kept moving the goal-post for 12 years and finally at a banquet I overheard him say that he was not ever going to let me get pregnant because he could get me to move heaven and earth for a baby but if I had a baby I would only want to stay home. The depths of betrayal, shame, sorrow and utter despair that I felt are indescribable. I never did have children but God has redeemed the years the locust have eaten because I have been called to be the director of a children's bible study and as I said in previous posts God's Word says that I will have more children as a barren woman than a woman with a husband. Praise God.
Now, I want to share with you the pivotal moment that was the beginning of my quest to heal and change and "fix my people-picker". After the separation, I would only meet my ex-husband in public places to conduct business. He became very frustrated and told me that I needed to ask a pastor at my Church to let us meet in their office to conduct business. I called the Church and explained the problem and the lady on the phone said that they had a Christian Counselor on staff that was also a pastor and gave me his phone number to schedule an appointment. My ex-husband and I went into Robert's office for the first time and Robert asked the question, "Why are you here?" I remained silent and allowed my ex-husband to talk. He talked and talked for 45 minutes about what a bitter disappointment I had always been and all kinds of bad things. At the 45 minute mark, I remember Robert exclaiming "why can't you just love her?" and he said that love had never been a part of the deal and never would be. He said he had married me because I was a hard worker and was smart and was going to be able to get him where he wanted to be financially and professionally. I was really sure that Robert was going to tell me that God hates divorce and that I had to go back to him no matter what.
The pivotal moment of my life was when Robert turned to me and said to me, "Why do you hate yourself?". A gigantic lump arose in my throat so that it was difficult to answer but I said, "Dude, you have not ever met me before and I have not said a word in this whole deal, there's no way you can make the call that I hate myself!". He answered, "I don't have to know you to know that you hate yourself. There's no way you could live with this man for that many years unless you hate yourself. You know the reason why you hate yourself but you are not going to say it." I nodded that he was right and by now the lump had grown so that I could not speak. He asked me what my favorite color is and I responded with a question of what the criteria for a favorite color is. He said that I had been pleasing people for so long that I had lost myself. He said that I was such a chameleon that I did not even know who I was, what I liked, .....he said "YOU REALLY NEED HELP! Where are you living? Are you living in a safe place? I said I was and he said I needed to be in his office the next day. I was and that's where the miraculous healing began that I will start to tell you about in the next installment. It really does get miraculously better so stay with me.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Semi-healthy zucchini/carrot muffins
Great Sunday Morning Greetings to you!
Fall is in the air. I awoke to a cool breeze and 50 something degrees this morning. The grass on my farm has grown green again and is trying to grow tall but we still need more rain. It is much prettier to look at though and all of my animals are happy. Will worked on his lawnmower this morning and is going to mow the lawn again....I think. I think he was until he decided to charge the mower battery while he went riding on the four-wheeler. I may have lost my buddy to the great outdoors this morning. I am thankful that we have had enough rain to make mowing a necessity. He is back from the exploring and is mowing the lawn. The smell of the new mown grass coming in the house along with the cool breeze, the smell of the baking muffins. Lovely, just lovely.
Will is officially working days again for three months. Hip Hip Hooray. He passed the third part of his CDL exam and now has a CDL permit. Last night I was able to meet Will's nephews Tanner and Zack Smith. They were adorable, respectful and funny. I am glad that I was finally able to meet them. They live with their Mother far away and so they do not come here that often. Cute little Christian boys.
Will planted our garden late and has been keeping it watered during the blasted summer and now that it has cooled down, we are starting to see some production. We picked, yellow squash, zucchini, okra and tomatoes last night. There was so much zucchini and they were large so I decided to shred them and make zucchini muffins.
My chickens are laying SO MUCH. We have egg lalapalooza here. The eggs are jumbo eggs and taste so yummy. I have always hated hard boiled eggs but these I like.
Semi-healthy Zucchini/Carrot Muffins
I made a very large batch because I had so much zucchini. I made some in smaller muffin tins with paper inserts and then made some gigantic muffins and greased and floured the tins. Both turned out perfectly. The gigantic muffins took 30 minutes and all were done when I stuck a knife in and it came out clean.
I used my food processors' grating blade to shred the zucchini and carrots. It made it fast and easy but you could use a grater and get a bonus workout on your biceps and triceps.
Level of difficulty - easy
Time to prep - 15 minutes with food processor, probably 30 with a grater
Time to cook - 20 minutes for small muffins, 30 minutes for large muffins
Ingredients
Wet Ingredients
2 C vegetable oil
6 large eggs
1 1/3 C granulated sugar
1 C light brown sugar packed
2 tsp vanilla
Dry Ingredients
6 C All-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
6 tsp cinnamon
Ingredients to fold in
5 C shredded zucchini
1 C shredded carrot
1 C Cascadian Farms Oat and Honey Granola Cereal (or Equivalent)
1/2 C Golden Milled Flaxseed
1/2 C Oat Bran
1 C Chopped Pecans (optional)
Use muffin papers or grease and flour muffin tins. Preheat oven to 375.
Combine wet ingredients and mix together
Combine dry ingredients and mix in separate bowl
Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, mix or incorporate fully
Fold in Zucchini, carrots, cereal, flaxseed and oat bran
Your batter should look like this
I used an ice cream scoop to put the batter in the muffin tins. Fill each muffin hole 3/4 of the way.
Bake at 375 for 20 minutes (small muffins) or 30 minutes for jumbo muffins. They are done when they are toasty brown on top and a knife inserted comes out clean.
Enjoy!
Fall is in the air. I awoke to a cool breeze and 50 something degrees this morning. The grass on my farm has grown green again and is trying to grow tall but we still need more rain. It is much prettier to look at though and all of my animals are happy. Will worked on his lawnmower this morning and is going to mow the lawn again....I think. I think he was until he decided to charge the mower battery while he went riding on the four-wheeler. I may have lost my buddy to the great outdoors this morning. I am thankful that we have had enough rain to make mowing a necessity. He is back from the exploring and is mowing the lawn. The smell of the new mown grass coming in the house along with the cool breeze, the smell of the baking muffins. Lovely, just lovely.
Will is officially working days again for three months. Hip Hip Hooray. He passed the third part of his CDL exam and now has a CDL permit. Last night I was able to meet Will's nephews Tanner and Zack Smith. They were adorable, respectful and funny. I am glad that I was finally able to meet them. They live with their Mother far away and so they do not come here that often. Cute little Christian boys.
Will planted our garden late and has been keeping it watered during the blasted summer and now that it has cooled down, we are starting to see some production. We picked, yellow squash, zucchini, okra and tomatoes last night. There was so much zucchini and they were large so I decided to shred them and make zucchini muffins.
 |
| We don't know what these knobbly squash are but they taste wonderful. I know that the tomatoes are ugly but they are miracle tomatoes this year. |
My chickens are laying SO MUCH. We have egg lalapalooza here. The eggs are jumbo eggs and taste so yummy. I have always hated hard boiled eggs but these I like.
Semi-healthy Zucchini/Carrot Muffins
I made a very large batch because I had so much zucchini. I made some in smaller muffin tins with paper inserts and then made some gigantic muffins and greased and floured the tins. Both turned out perfectly. The gigantic muffins took 30 minutes and all were done when I stuck a knife in and it came out clean.
I used my food processors' grating blade to shred the zucchini and carrots. It made it fast and easy but you could use a grater and get a bonus workout on your biceps and triceps.
Level of difficulty - easy
Time to prep - 15 minutes with food processor, probably 30 with a grater
Time to cook - 20 minutes for small muffins, 30 minutes for large muffins
Ingredients
Wet Ingredients
2 C vegetable oil
6 large eggs
1 1/3 C granulated sugar
1 C light brown sugar packed
2 tsp vanilla
Dry Ingredients
6 C All-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
6 tsp cinnamon
Ingredients to fold in
5 C shredded zucchini
1 C shredded carrot
1 C Cascadian Farms Oat and Honey Granola Cereal (or Equivalent)
1/2 C Golden Milled Flaxseed
1/2 C Oat Bran
1 C Chopped Pecans (optional)
Use muffin papers or grease and flour muffin tins. Preheat oven to 375.
Combine wet ingredients and mix together
Combine dry ingredients and mix in separate bowl
Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, mix or incorporate fully
Fold in Zucchini, carrots, cereal, flaxseed and oat bran
Your batter should look like this
I used an ice cream scoop to put the batter in the muffin tins. Fill each muffin hole 3/4 of the way.
Bake at 375 for 20 minutes (small muffins) or 30 minutes for jumbo muffins. They are done when they are toasty brown on top and a knife inserted comes out clean.
Enjoy!
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